1 00:00:01,985 --> 00:00:03,919 No, dude. 2 00:00:03,987 --> 00:00:07,166 It's not... It's not a question of individual style. It's about having some taste. 3 00:00:07,190 --> 00:00:09,818 You're attacking my ability to express myself, dude. 4 00:00:09,893 --> 00:00:12,691 How am I attacking your ability to... I just don't get it. 5 00:00:12,763 --> 00:00:15,755 What's not to get? "Come to Philly for the crack." 6 00:00:15,832 --> 00:00:18,300 - It has a picture of the Liberty Bell on it. - Yeah, but... 7 00:00:18,368 --> 00:00:21,288 - It's funny and original. - It's not fun... How is it funny and original? 8 00:00:21,338 --> 00:00:24,774 Every asshole on South Street's wearing a T-shirt with an ironic slogan on it. 9 00:00:24,841 --> 00:00:29,608 Well, excuse me if all my T-shirts don't have a little guy playing polo on the lapel. 10 00:00:29,679 --> 00:00:31,670 You cut the sleeves off of all your T-shirts. 11 00:00:31,748 --> 00:00:34,393 What, so you can show off your tats? Those are really original, dude. 12 00:00:34,417 --> 00:00:37,477 - They're tribal. - Oh, they're trib... I'm sorry. What tribe are you from? 13 00:00:37,554 --> 00:00:39,866 - What? Is it, like, an Indian tribe or... - Okay, okay, okay. 14 00:00:39,890 --> 00:00:42,723 - You guys gonna let me in this game or what? - No. You're the ref. 15 00:00:42,793 --> 00:00:45,872 - I don't want to ref anymore. I'd like to play, so... - You're an excellent ref. 16 00:00:45,896 --> 00:00:49,730 - You're a very good ref. - Yeah, I know. I'm a great ref. I'd like to play the game now. 17 00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:53,201 - Are you gonna get mad? You gonna turn into the mad munchkin? - What's the ma... 18 00:00:53,270 --> 00:00:55,568 - Do you represent the Lollipop Guild, Charlie? - Do you? 19 00:00:55,639 --> 00:00:58,130 Hey, Charlie. 20 00:01:02,078 --> 00:01:06,174 - That's a mad munchkin dance? Oh, okay. This is what we do? - I need to talk to you. 21 00:01:09,352 --> 00:01:11,047 It's about our son! 22 00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:19,492 Nobody wants to hear that. 23 00:01:46,690 --> 00:01:49,523 - So, wait, she's sayin'this is your son? - I don't know. 24 00:01:49,593 --> 00:01:51,804 - Sounds like a bunch of bullshit to me, Charlie. - I know! 25 00:01:51,828 --> 00:01:54,058 I know it. There's, like, no way that this is possible. 26 00:01:54,130 --> 00:01:57,622 - Well, did you have sex with her? - Yeah. 27 00:01:57,701 --> 00:01:59,999 Okay. Did you use birth control? 28 00:02:00,070 --> 00:02:02,515 - Oh, Dee, we went to Catholic school, so... - Okay. You're allowed... 29 00:02:02,539 --> 00:02:05,269 to have premarital sex, but you're not allowed to use birth control? 30 00:02:05,342 --> 00:02:07,970 No. All right. You're twisting words here and, like, gettin' cute. 31 00:02:08,044 --> 00:02:09,978 When did she have this kid? 32 00:02:10,046 --> 00:02:13,072 - It's been, like, 10 years since I've even seen her, so... - Ten years? 33 00:02:13,149 --> 00:02:15,228 - What does she want? - Well, that's... that's the weird thing. 34 00:02:15,252 --> 00:02:17,880 She doesn't want money or anything. She just wants me to meet him. 35 00:02:17,954 --> 00:02:19,546 - Are you gonna do it? - No. 36 00:02:19,623 --> 00:02:22,592 Well, dude, you gotta meet the kid. I mean, you gotta find out for sure. 37 00:02:22,659 --> 00:02:25,628 Yeah, I guess. It's just... 38 00:02:25,695 --> 00:02:29,392 I mean, I wish I could go back in time and do the right thing, you know? 39 00:02:29,466 --> 00:02:32,765 - Like be there for him? - No. Get her an abortion. 40 00:02:34,437 --> 00:02:38,806 So you're not allowed to use birth control, but abortions are no problem? 41 00:02:38,875 --> 00:02:41,241 All right. Okay. So now you're, like, a word genius. 42 00:02:41,311 --> 00:02:44,337 And everything I say, you twist it around and make me look dumb. 43 00:02:44,414 --> 00:02:47,383 Charlie's right though. He should have at least had a say in the matter. 44 00:02:47,450 --> 00:02:49,595 - It's her body, and it's her decision. - No, I'm sorry. 45 00:02:49,619 --> 00:02:52,087 It's not just her decision. The man should get a vote. 46 00:02:52,155 --> 00:02:54,988 - Okay. Well, ultimately it's her choice. - It is not just her choice. 47 00:02:55,058 --> 00:02:58,221 It's nobody's choice. It should be left up to God. 48 00:03:00,230 --> 00:03:02,164 Is he... Is that... Are you joking? 49 00:03:02,232 --> 00:03:06,669 No, it's not a joke! You remember Genesis, Book Two, Verse Three? 50 00:03:06,736 --> 00:03:10,763 "And he breathed into the nostrils of Adam on the first day. And it was good." 51 00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:13,468 Right in his nostrils, huh? Sounds really uncomfortable. 52 00:03:13,543 --> 00:03:16,823 You're making an asshole out of yourself. Dude, you need to get a blood test, okay? 53 00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:19,358 - I remember Stacy Corvelli. She was a slut. - You're right. You're right. 54 00:03:19,382 --> 00:03:21,816 Uh, Mac, what's God's stance on blood tests? 55 00:03:21,885 --> 00:03:24,581 Hmm. I don't know. I'd have to check. 56 00:03:30,327 --> 00:03:32,318 All right, you feeling good? 57 00:03:32,395 --> 00:03:34,829 No. I feel nauseous. I think I'm gonna go. I'm gonna run. 58 00:03:34,898 --> 00:03:36,559 - No, no, no. It's... - I should go. 59 00:03:36,633 --> 00:03:38,328 - Hi. Hey, Charlie. - Hi. 60 00:03:38,401 --> 00:03:40,164 - Hey. - You brought your, uh... 61 00:03:40,236 --> 00:03:43,549 Uh, Dennis Reynolds. We didn't get a chance to talk before, but I remember you. Yeah. 62 00:03:43,573 --> 00:03:45,507 - You went to St. Giles? - I did. Yeah. 63 00:03:45,575 --> 00:03:47,406 - Ah. - With... Yeah. 64 00:03:47,477 --> 00:03:49,411 So you two are together now, or... 65 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:52,471 - No. - No. No. 66 00:03:52,549 --> 00:03:54,760 - No. I'm just here for moral support. - Yeah, we're not... 67 00:03:54,784 --> 00:03:56,775 That's not even a... 68 00:03:56,853 --> 00:03:59,048 - I brought him along. - Yeah. 69 00:03:59,122 --> 00:04:01,613 - So... - All right. Come on in. 70 00:04:06,763 --> 00:04:09,425 I'm real glad you decided to do this, Charlie. 71 00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:12,957 Yeah. Well, uh, you know, it's the least I could do, so... 72 00:04:13,036 --> 00:04:15,834 Yeah. Sorry I don't have a lot of time. I gotta get to work. 73 00:04:15,905 --> 00:04:18,305 Uh, Tommy, come on in here, Son! 74 00:04:18,375 --> 00:04:20,536 What do you want, Mom? 75 00:04:20,610 --> 00:04:22,578 He's a bit of a handful. 76 00:04:22,645 --> 00:04:24,875 Uh, Charlie and his friend are here. 77 00:04:24,948 --> 00:04:26,916 So goddamn what? 78 00:04:26,983 --> 00:04:28,974 Tommy, come in here, please! 79 00:04:29,052 --> 00:04:31,020 This is bullshit. 80 00:04:31,087 --> 00:04:34,318 - Whoa! - Language, please. 81 00:04:34,391 --> 00:04:37,622 - Which one of you fags is supposed to be my dad? - Whoa, hello. 82 00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:39,628 - Right off the bat with the... - Yeah. 83 00:04:39,696 --> 00:04:43,530 Tommy, be nice. Huh? This is Charlie. 84 00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:46,728 Are you serious? This is the guy? 85 00:04:46,803 --> 00:04:49,169 What's that... What's that supposed to mean, buddy? 86 00:04:49,239 --> 00:04:52,538 Okay. Well, I should be home around 8:00. Uh, what do you guys have planned? 87 00:04:52,609 --> 00:04:55,669 - Uh, I thought we'd go to the park. - Huh. That sounds nice. 88 00:04:55,745 --> 00:04:58,145 - Wanna go to the park, Tommy? - I don't care. 89 00:04:58,214 --> 00:05:01,411 Okay. That's great. Bye, sweetie. 90 00:05:01,484 --> 00:05:04,146 Have fun, boys. 91 00:05:04,220 --> 00:05:06,586 I'm not goin' to the park. 92 00:05:06,656 --> 00:05:08,817 No shit. 93 00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:12,661 What is this place? 94 00:05:12,729 --> 00:05:16,961 Uh, this is a place where we're gonna go see a special friend of mine. 95 00:05:17,033 --> 00:05:20,161 - Why? - 'Cause he's gonna help us figure something very important out. 96 00:05:20,236 --> 00:05:22,466 - It's gonna be good to know. - Why? 97 00:05:22,539 --> 00:05:25,235 - Because I said so. No more questions, okay, buddy? - Why? 98 00:05:25,308 --> 00:05:26,798 - Stop saying "why." - Why? 99 00:05:26,876 --> 00:05:28,554 - Stop it. I don't like this game. - Why? Why? 100 00:05:28,578 --> 00:05:30,423 - Is this a game? This is your game? - Why? Why? 101 00:05:30,447 --> 00:05:32,847 Hey, pretty boy. 102 00:05:32,916 --> 00:05:34,941 What you here for? 103 00:05:35,018 --> 00:05:38,476 My friend's gettin' a... blood test. 104 00:05:38,555 --> 00:05:40,523 Your boyfriend? 105 00:05:40,590 --> 00:05:43,388 No. He's not my... He's not my boyfriend. 106 00:05:43,460 --> 00:05:45,394 He got AIDS? 107 00:05:45,462 --> 00:05:47,555 I don't... I don't think so. 108 00:05:47,630 --> 00:05:49,757 - Do you? - No, I don't. 109 00:05:49,833 --> 00:05:52,199 I'll blow you for $10. 110 00:05:55,738 --> 00:05:58,707 You know what? Let me consult some of this free literature... 111 00:05:58,775 --> 00:06:00,709 they got here regarding that proposition. 112 00:06:00,777 --> 00:06:02,711 Oh. You know what? 113 00:06:02,779 --> 00:06:05,839 According to this, that's not really a good idea. So I'm gonna have to pass. 114 00:06:05,915 --> 00:06:07,974 But thanks. I appreciate it. Really nice of you. 115 00:06:08,051 --> 00:06:10,144 - He's playin' mind games, dude. - I wanna leave. 116 00:06:10,220 --> 00:06:12,654 - Hey, it's tough. - What are we doin' here? 117 00:06:12,722 --> 00:06:15,522 Don't answer that. It's a trick question. He tries to get in your head. 118 00:06:15,592 --> 00:06:18,304 - It's a little game he plays. - No, let... let me answer the question. 119 00:06:18,328 --> 00:06:21,107 See, we're at a free clinic, Tommy. Charlie doesn't have health insurance. 120 00:06:21,131 --> 00:06:23,292 See this lady back here? Take a look. 121 00:06:23,366 --> 00:06:26,665 That's what you get when you don't have health insurance. 122 00:06:28,705 --> 00:06:30,696 - I wanna go to the mall! - Keep your voice down. 123 00:06:30,773 --> 00:06:32,573 - I wanna go to the mall! - Keep your voice... 124 00:06:32,642 --> 00:06:34,322 - I wanna go to the mall! - Stop yelling... 125 00:06:34,377 --> 00:06:36,845 - I wanna go to the... - Stop your yelling. We need to... Ow! 126 00:06:36,913 --> 00:06:39,074 - He's biting my hand! He's biting my hand! - Come on. 127 00:06:39,149 --> 00:06:41,208 Let's go. Let's go. 128 00:06:43,286 --> 00:06:46,517 Sacred Right. It's a child, not a choice. Mm-hmm. 129 00:06:46,589 --> 00:06:50,116 All righty. I'll make sure he gets the message. Thank you. 130 00:06:50,193 --> 00:06:51,683 - Hi. - Hi. 131 00:06:51,761 --> 00:06:54,601 - So I was having an argument with some friends the other day. - Uh-huh. 132 00:06:54,664 --> 00:06:57,304 And I was wondering if you could help me out with some information. 133 00:06:57,367 --> 00:07:00,200 - Are you interested in joining our cause? - No. 134 00:07:00,270 --> 00:07:03,470 No. Actually, just looking for some info on the Bible, Jesus, that kind of thing. 135 00:07:03,540 --> 00:07:07,306 - Well, if you join our mailing list, the reverend... - Okay, listen to me. 136 00:07:07,377 --> 00:07:10,489 I don't really wanna join your little freak show. Just looking for some information. 137 00:07:10,513 --> 00:07:13,107 So if you could point me in the right direction, that'd be great. 138 00:07:13,183 --> 00:07:15,327 - Well, we have some literature... - Great. Thank you. Thanks. 139 00:07:15,351 --> 00:07:17,819 On the display back by the water cooler. 140 00:07:23,226 --> 00:07:25,592 Oh, mama. 141 00:07:25,662 --> 00:07:27,755 - Hey, there. - Hi. 142 00:07:27,830 --> 00:07:30,264 - Hey. - Oh, are you here to sign up for the rally? 143 00:07:30,333 --> 00:07:32,301 - Yes, I am. - Great. 144 00:07:32,368 --> 00:07:35,633 - Yeah, real excited about the rally. - We're gonna kick ass this time. 145 00:07:35,705 --> 00:07:39,232 Well, I'm ready to kick somebody's ass, I'll tell you what. I hate those bastards. 146 00:07:39,309 --> 00:07:41,243 Wow! That's... 147 00:07:41,311 --> 00:07:44,144 - Uh, hate's a very strong word. - Yeah. 148 00:07:44,214 --> 00:07:47,377 Yeah, well, let me tell you something, Megan. 149 00:07:47,450 --> 00:07:51,045 I hate dead baby fetuses, you know? 150 00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:54,089 I hate them because they're dead, and they shouldn't be. 151 00:07:54,157 --> 00:07:57,149 They should be alive, and they should be loved. 152 00:07:57,227 --> 00:08:00,492 Oh! Wow! 153 00:08:00,563 --> 00:08:03,896 - You just... You seem really passionate. - Yeah. 154 00:08:03,967 --> 00:08:06,060 More than you know. 155 00:08:11,007 --> 00:08:14,340 - Nice kid, Charlie. - What the hell do you think is wrong with that kid? 156 00:08:14,410 --> 00:08:16,935 You've gotta get that blood test, dude. 157 00:08:17,013 --> 00:08:20,949 - Die! Die! Die! - No! Hey! Whoa, Tommy! No! 158 00:08:21,017 --> 00:08:23,247 No! No! No! Give me the stick! Give me the stick! 159 00:08:23,319 --> 00:08:25,514 Come on! This place sucks! I wanna go to the mall! 160 00:08:25,588 --> 00:08:28,580 - We can't go to the mall, all right? - Shut up! I'm the boss of you! 161 00:08:28,658 --> 00:08:31,889 - You're not the boss of me! - I am the boss! I wanna go to the mall! 162 00:08:31,961 --> 00:08:34,657 - I'll show you who's the boss of who. - Let's go to the mall! 163 00:08:34,731 --> 00:08:37,427 - You wanna go to the mall? - I wanna go to the mall! 164 00:08:37,500 --> 00:08:39,991 You could ask nice. Dennis, let's go. We're goin' to the mall. 165 00:08:40,069 --> 00:08:43,527 - I'm not spending any more time with that kid. - Come on, dude! Fine. Great. 166 00:08:43,606 --> 00:08:46,905 Dee... Dee, will you just... Can we go to the mall? Will you drive me? 167 00:08:46,976 --> 00:08:50,309 - I guess, if Dennis watches the bar. - That's fine. 168 00:08:50,380 --> 00:08:52,371 Great. Fine. Thank you. 169 00:08:56,886 --> 00:08:58,820 - You're ugly. - You're ugly. 170 00:08:58,888 --> 00:09:00,685 - You're ugly! - You are the one that's ugly! 171 00:09:00,757 --> 00:09:03,692 Charlie! Jesus Christ! Are you almost 30? Are you almost 30 years old? 172 00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:05,853 - Yes! - You have to buy me a toy! 173 00:09:05,928 --> 00:09:08,522 - I don't have to buy you shit. - If you don't buy me anything... 174 00:09:08,598 --> 00:09:11,192 I'm gonna tell my mom you took me to a black people's house. 175 00:09:11,267 --> 00:09:14,065 - Okay. - Wow! Oh, my God, that's racist. What do you say to that? 176 00:09:14,137 --> 00:09:16,571 - I don't say anything. - You still have to buy me a toy! 177 00:09:20,743 --> 00:09:23,405 Charlie, what in the hell are you gonna do if this kid's yours? 178 00:09:23,479 --> 00:09:26,346 Oh, I don't know. I'll probably, uh, kill myself. 179 00:09:26,416 --> 00:09:29,078 Whoa! Isn't that your waitress from the coffee shop? 180 00:09:29,152 --> 00:09:31,177 Cool. Stewie. 181 00:09:31,254 --> 00:09:33,279 - Oh, my God. - Go talk to her. 182 00:09:33,356 --> 00:09:35,449 - What? No. - Come on. Go talk to her. 183 00:09:35,525 --> 00:09:37,765 - No, dude. - You've been in love with this girl forever. 184 00:09:37,794 --> 00:09:41,025 I know that. You know what? Come with me and pretend you're my girlfriend. 185 00:09:41,097 --> 00:09:43,031 - It'll make her jealous. - No. I won't do that. 186 00:09:43,099 --> 00:09:45,033 - Come on. It's gonna work. - No. No, it's not. 187 00:09:45,101 --> 00:09:47,092 - All right. Come stand next to me then. - Why? 188 00:09:47,170 --> 00:09:49,604 - So she doesn't think I'm creepy. - Well, you are creepy. 189 00:09:49,672 --> 00:09:53,199 - I realize this. That's why I need you. - All right. Let's go. 190 00:09:53,276 --> 00:09:55,210 - Thank you. - Stop sweating. 191 00:09:55,278 --> 00:09:57,610 Then we can grab him if you like him, okay? 192 00:09:57,680 --> 00:09:59,614 Hey. Fancy seeing you here. 193 00:09:59,682 --> 00:10:01,616 Oh. Hello, Charlie. 194 00:10:02,685 --> 00:10:04,880 Buying toys, are you? 195 00:10:04,954 --> 00:10:06,785 Yeah. 196 00:10:06,856 --> 00:10:10,314 - Cool. This is my, uh... - Friend. We're good friends. 197 00:10:10,393 --> 00:10:11,724 - Hi. - Hi. 198 00:10:11,794 --> 00:10:14,319 - Is that cute little girl your... - I'm her big sister. 199 00:10:14,397 --> 00:10:16,865 Oh. 200 00:10:16,933 --> 00:10:18,924 Hmm, that's weird. She looks Mexican. 201 00:10:20,636 --> 00:10:24,163 She is Mexican. It's the Big Sister program. She's not my real little sister. 202 00:10:24,240 --> 00:10:28,176 That is such a coincidence. That's exactly what we're here doing. 203 00:10:28,244 --> 00:10:30,644 - What? - Yeah. Do you see that, um... 204 00:10:30,713 --> 00:10:33,546 adorable little guy over there? 205 00:10:33,616 --> 00:10:36,141 That's Charlie's little brother. 206 00:10:36,219 --> 00:10:38,153 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 207 00:10:38,221 --> 00:10:40,485 - Yeah. - No way. You're involved in the program? 208 00:10:40,556 --> 00:10:42,490 Yeah! 209 00:10:42,558 --> 00:10:45,049 Well, that's... I didn't know you were involved in the program. 210 00:10:45,128 --> 00:10:47,756 - I love the program! - It's one of his favorite programs. 211 00:10:47,830 --> 00:10:50,765 - Yeah. I've... I've been in the program since... - A long time now. 212 00:10:50,833 --> 00:10:54,166 I guess you're gonna be going to the picnic then at Fairmount Park. 213 00:10:54,237 --> 00:10:55,727 - Right. - Saturday? 214 00:10:55,805 --> 00:10:58,584 - Saturday. - Yeah. Are you there? Are you goin'? Are you gonna be there? 215 00:10:58,608 --> 00:11:00,576 - I will be there on Saturday, yes. - Great. 216 00:11:00,643 --> 00:11:02,688 - Maybe we'll see you there. - Maybe. Or you know what? 217 00:11:02,712 --> 00:11:06,273 - Or... maybe we could carpool. You know what I mean? - Carpool? 218 00:11:06,349 --> 00:11:08,660 Yeah. Well, come on. Think about it. We'll save the environment. 219 00:11:08,684 --> 00:11:11,130 - We'll team up. It'll be good. - This is smart. Reduce, reuse, recycle. 220 00:11:11,154 --> 00:11:13,554 - You should do it. - The kids will love it. The kids... 221 00:11:13,623 --> 00:11:15,557 He loves Mexicans. 222 00:11:15,625 --> 00:11:18,219 All right. 223 00:11:18,294 --> 00:11:20,421 - Sure. Let's do it. - Oh! 224 00:11:21,464 --> 00:11:24,627 - Okay. Yeah. - Great. 225 00:11:24,700 --> 00:11:26,979 - Great. Okay, well... - Nice to meet you too. I'll see you. 226 00:11:27,003 --> 00:11:30,063 - I gotta go get my little sister. Okay, bye. - Bye. 227 00:11:30,139 --> 00:11:33,939 - Thank you. - You're still pretty sweaty. 228 00:11:36,144 --> 00:11:40,376 Baby killer! Baby killer! Baby killer! 229 00:11:40,448 --> 00:11:42,939 You bastards are gonna burn in hell! 230 00:11:43,018 --> 00:11:46,681 Abortion is murder! It's a child, not a choice! 231 00:11:46,755 --> 00:11:48,689 Pro-choice is pro-death! 232 00:11:48,757 --> 00:11:51,021 Wow! Great rhetoric. 233 00:11:51,092 --> 00:11:53,037 - Thank you. - Hey, you're really hard-core, aren't you? 234 00:11:53,061 --> 00:11:55,996 Oh, well, you know. I mean, if you really wanna see hard-core... 235 00:11:56,064 --> 00:11:59,795 - What's this? - That's the list of doctors I'm gonna kill. 236 00:11:59,868 --> 00:12:03,599 - There's two already crossed out. - Yeah, I know. 237 00:12:12,914 --> 00:12:15,678 - So you really had a good time, huh? - Yeah. We had a blast. 238 00:12:15,750 --> 00:12:18,412 - Hmm. He didn't give you any problems? - No. Not a single problem. 239 00:12:18,486 --> 00:12:21,421 Uh, listen, I was thinking maybe I could take him out this Saturday? 240 00:12:23,358 --> 00:12:26,418 - Really? - Yeah, sure. I'd pick him up at, like, 8:00? 241 00:12:26,494 --> 00:12:28,485 You know, do the father-son thing. 242 00:12:28,563 --> 00:12:32,329 Are you all right? Is that gonna be okay? Because I could really use... use him. 243 00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:34,400 - Goddamn it! - I'm sorry. Is everything all right? 244 00:12:34,469 --> 00:12:37,768 I can't do this! Tommy's not your son. 245 00:12:39,140 --> 00:12:41,608 - What? - Remember Jimmy Doyle from high school? 246 00:12:41,676 --> 00:12:45,373 That son of a bitch is Tommy's real father. He left me six months ago. 247 00:12:45,447 --> 00:12:48,143 - You know what a nightmare it's been since he left? - I don't care. 248 00:12:48,216 --> 00:12:52,175 - I can't raise Tommy alone. - I don't care! You thought you'd just pawn your son off on me? 249 00:12:52,253 --> 00:12:56,314 What else? I thought I could find him a better role model than that piece of shit! 250 00:12:56,391 --> 00:13:00,122 Stop talking! Wait. Let me think. 251 00:13:00,195 --> 00:13:04,188 God! All right. So can I still take him out on Saturday? 252 00:13:05,233 --> 00:13:07,224 - Yeah. - Great. 253 00:13:09,204 --> 00:13:12,264 - That's pretty thin. That might be too thin. - Hey-oh! 254 00:13:12,340 --> 00:13:15,537 - Hey, Mac. Where you been? - Oh, I don't know. Saving humanity. 255 00:13:15,610 --> 00:13:18,010 - Are you still on this kick, dude? - Yeah, you know, Den... 256 00:13:18,079 --> 00:13:20,411 I was thinking what you were saying the other day... 257 00:13:20,482 --> 00:13:22,712 about the T-shirts with the stupid slogans on them. 258 00:13:22,784 --> 00:13:25,252 And I was wondering what you think about this? 259 00:13:25,320 --> 00:13:28,289 Huh, bitch? Yeah! Is that stupid enough for you? 260 00:13:28,356 --> 00:13:30,568 You're not seriously wearing that, are you? You look ridiculous. 261 00:13:30,592 --> 00:13:34,119 - Whatever, dude. - You know, that's the problem with you antiabortionists. 262 00:13:34,195 --> 00:13:37,323 You cry about the sanctity of life, and then you wear a shirt like that. 263 00:13:37,398 --> 00:13:41,061 - I'm not listening to you. - Aren't you right-wingers all about the death penalty too? 264 00:13:41,136 --> 00:13:43,764 - Does that not involve killing somebody? - Right, right, right. 265 00:13:43,838 --> 00:13:46,136 And you liberals are against killing murderers. 266 00:13:46,207 --> 00:13:48,252 But you're for killing innocent babies. That's interesting. 267 00:13:48,276 --> 00:13:51,188 - Yeah. We like to kill babies. - You guys are taking this way too seriously. 268 00:13:51,212 --> 00:13:53,157 Den, you don't understand the week I've been having. 269 00:13:53,181 --> 00:13:55,945 I met a girl at one of these organizations who is a freak. 270 00:13:56,017 --> 00:13:58,008 She is the dirtiest chick I've met in my life. 271 00:13:58,086 --> 00:14:01,317 - Seriously? - Yeah. You gotta come with me to one of these rallies. 272 00:14:01,389 --> 00:14:05,485 They're having another one on Saturday. These chicks are everywhere. 273 00:14:05,560 --> 00:14:08,427 - I can jump on board with that. - Yeah! 274 00:14:08,496 --> 00:14:12,330 Are you actually gonna throw away all your convictions for a chance to get laid? 275 00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:15,164 I don't really have any convictions. 276 00:14:15,236 --> 00:14:16,897 Where is this rally being held? 277 00:14:16,971 --> 00:14:19,462 Uh, Planned Parenthood, Bryn Mawr Medical Center. 278 00:14:19,541 --> 00:14:22,635 Well, I'm gonna go. At least one pro-choice voice is gonna be heard. 279 00:14:22,710 --> 00:14:25,270 One? There was, like, tons of those chicks at the last one. 280 00:14:25,346 --> 00:14:29,112 - Which side had more? - Oh, which one do you think? 281 00:14:29,184 --> 00:14:31,264 The one that cares about protecting women's bodies... 282 00:14:31,319 --> 00:14:33,787 or the one that's run by the religious right? 283 00:14:35,056 --> 00:14:37,047 Probably the side you're goin' to. 284 00:14:37,125 --> 00:14:39,218 I'm gonna fight for the right to choose. 285 00:14:39,294 --> 00:14:41,922 You're a scumbag, Dennis. 286 00:14:47,001 --> 00:14:50,528 - Today's a big day for me, Tommy. - Why? 287 00:14:50,605 --> 00:14:54,166 Well, today is probably the best chance I'm ever gonna have of hooking up with this girl. 288 00:14:54,242 --> 00:14:57,040 So, uh, look at me for a second, pal. Okay, do me a favor. 289 00:14:57,111 --> 00:14:59,045 If you're good today, I'm gonna buy you... 290 00:14:59,113 --> 00:15:01,353 anything that you want, anything in the world, all right? 291 00:15:02,717 --> 00:15:05,117 Oh, my God! 292 00:15:05,186 --> 00:15:08,781 I will smash your face into a... into a jelly! 293 00:15:11,893 --> 00:15:13,827 Wrong key. 294 00:15:13,895 --> 00:15:17,729 Keep abortion legal! Keep abortion legal! 295 00:15:17,799 --> 00:15:20,791 Stop abortion now! Stop abortion now! 296 00:15:20,868 --> 00:15:22,927 This is crazy. 297 00:15:23,004 --> 00:15:26,667 Yeah, weird. People actually care about women's bodies. You believe that? 298 00:15:26,741 --> 00:15:28,675 Yeah. I think Mac picked the wrong side. 299 00:15:28,743 --> 00:15:31,177 - There's, like, no dudes here. - Gross. 300 00:15:32,247 --> 00:15:34,545 You know what? Uh, give me a second here. 301 00:15:38,453 --> 00:15:41,081 - Hi. - Hi. 302 00:15:41,155 --> 00:15:43,248 - I like your look. - Excuse me? 303 00:15:43,324 --> 00:15:45,451 I like the whole hippie thing. 304 00:15:45,526 --> 00:15:47,426 It really works for you. 305 00:15:47,495 --> 00:15:52,057 - Get lost, breeder. - Oh, okay. 306 00:15:54,135 --> 00:15:56,126 Yeah. Mmm. 307 00:15:57,605 --> 00:16:02,042 - I love the smell of protest in the morning. - What? 308 00:16:02,110 --> 00:16:04,955 I was quoting that movie, you know, Apocalypse Now. "Napalm in the morning." 309 00:16:04,979 --> 00:16:08,142 - Is that the new Mel Gibson movie? - No. 310 00:16:08,216 --> 00:16:11,379 Did you see Passion of the Christ? I saw it 12 times. 311 00:16:13,421 --> 00:16:15,946 Okay. 312 00:16:18,192 --> 00:16:21,525 You know, you really shouldn't joke about the Apocalypse. 313 00:16:24,832 --> 00:16:27,323 So just fill these out. We'll get your information in the mail. 314 00:16:27,402 --> 00:16:29,461 Thanks. 315 00:16:29,537 --> 00:16:31,402 "Keep your laws"... I like your T-shirt. 316 00:16:31,472 --> 00:16:33,702 - Thanks. - Yeah. Where do I sign? 317 00:16:33,775 --> 00:16:36,903 - Right here. - Love T-shirts like that. 318 00:16:36,978 --> 00:16:38,969 Right. 319 00:16:39,047 --> 00:16:42,073 So, do you come to these kind of things often, or... 320 00:16:42,150 --> 00:16:44,914 Are you hitting on me at an abortion rally? 321 00:16:44,986 --> 00:16:46,977 Yeah, I... 322 00:16:52,193 --> 00:16:54,559 You know what? I think all these chicks are gay. 323 00:16:54,629 --> 00:16:56,620 Yeah, I don't know that they're gay. 324 00:16:56,698 --> 00:16:58,962 I think they can just smell how disgusting you are. 325 00:16:59,033 --> 00:17:01,160 That sucks for me. 326 00:17:05,473 --> 00:17:07,373 Hello. 327 00:17:07,442 --> 00:17:09,637 Hey, Mac. It's Dennis. 328 00:17:09,711 --> 00:17:12,323 Uh, look, man, there's no talent over here. What's the deal over there? 329 00:17:12,347 --> 00:17:15,282 Oh, yeah. We're lookin' real good over here, bro. 330 00:17:15,350 --> 00:17:18,683 - What do you think? - Hop the fence and come over. 331 00:17:18,753 --> 00:17:20,721 All right. I'll see you in a second. 332 00:17:20,788 --> 00:17:22,756 Later, gator. 333 00:17:22,824 --> 00:17:25,315 All right, Megan. I'm finished. 334 00:17:26,794 --> 00:17:29,786 You are a genius. 335 00:17:31,799 --> 00:17:35,735 Hey, Sis. I'm gonna jet. 336 00:17:35,803 --> 00:17:38,465 - You're leaving? - Uh, this side sucks. 337 00:17:38,539 --> 00:17:40,564 I'm gonna try my luck over there. 338 00:17:40,641 --> 00:17:42,973 - Are you kidding me? - Later, tater. 339 00:17:43,044 --> 00:17:45,945 Dennis, you are such a jackass! 340 00:17:46,013 --> 00:17:47,981 Excuse me. Excuse me. 341 00:17:48,049 --> 00:17:50,609 Yeah. Can I get by here? Thanks. 342 00:17:52,820 --> 00:17:56,415 I just... I really love that sign. I wondered that so many times. 343 00:17:56,491 --> 00:17:58,391 Hey, there's a guy on the fence. 344 00:18:00,962 --> 00:18:02,896 Hey! Hey! They're coming after us! 345 00:18:02,964 --> 00:18:06,798 - No. They're not coming after us. - I'll show you what we do to them. How's your aim? 346 00:18:06,868 --> 00:18:09,428 Pretty good. But I don't think that's such a good idea. 347 00:18:09,504 --> 00:18:12,405 - I don't think... - Hey, it's okay. These people deserve this. 348 00:18:14,509 --> 00:18:17,967 Yeah. He looks like he deserves it. Maybe just one. 349 00:18:18,045 --> 00:18:20,843 Oh! Ow! 350 00:18:20,915 --> 00:18:23,179 Yeah! Come on! Get your eggs, people! 351 00:18:23,251 --> 00:18:25,481 - Oh, my God! - Ow! 352 00:18:25,553 --> 00:18:28,716 - Shit! They're throwing eggs! - They did this last time. 353 00:18:28,790 --> 00:18:31,190 I came prepared. 354 00:18:31,259 --> 00:18:34,160 Oh. Hey, Dennis! How's the action over there, buddy? 355 00:18:34,228 --> 00:18:37,254 - What? What the hell are you doing? - Oh! They're coming... 356 00:18:37,331 --> 00:18:39,231 - Now they're coming back. - Die! 357 00:18:39,300 --> 00:18:42,133 - Hey! - Hot chicks on that side, Dennis? 358 00:18:45,139 --> 00:18:47,073 You're gonna burn in hell! 359 00:18:49,777 --> 00:18:52,678 Stop! Stop! Stop! 360 00:18:52,747 --> 00:18:55,215 Hey, guess what. I have a surprise for you. 361 00:18:55,283 --> 00:18:57,808 - What? - It's a real miracle. 362 00:18:57,885 --> 00:18:59,546 - What is it? - I'm pregnant! 363 00:18:59,620 --> 00:19:01,554 What? 364 00:19:01,622 --> 00:19:03,385 I'm pregnant! 365 00:19:06,060 --> 00:19:08,051 You gotta get an abortion. 366 00:19:10,031 --> 00:19:11,999 - Megan, wait, wait, wait! - Stop talking to me! 367 00:19:12,066 --> 00:19:14,111 Well, listen, I just think our situation is different. 368 00:19:14,135 --> 00:19:17,455 - How is our situation different? - Well, because I didn't mean to get you pregnant. 369 00:19:17,505 --> 00:19:19,439 - It was an accident. - You are so pathetic. 370 00:19:19,507 --> 00:19:23,375 You can't have this kid. I'm way too young, and I have a little bit of an alcohol problem... 371 00:19:23,444 --> 00:19:25,344 - Save it! I'm not pregnant! - What? 372 00:19:25,413 --> 00:19:27,881 I'm not pregnant. It was a test. 373 00:19:27,949 --> 00:19:30,645 I just thought for, like, one second that you might be the one. 374 00:19:30,718 --> 00:19:32,583 I just had to know for sure. 375 00:19:32,653 --> 00:19:34,587 Wait a second! So you're not pregnant? 376 00:19:34,655 --> 00:19:36,885 - No. - And this was a test? 377 00:19:36,958 --> 00:19:40,121 - Yeah. - And I failed? 378 00:19:40,194 --> 00:19:42,389 Have a nice life, asshole. 379 00:19:42,463 --> 00:19:44,658 No! Wait... Wait... Wait a second! Wait! Oh. 380 00:19:48,336 --> 00:19:50,827 Son of a bitch! Son of a bitch! 381 00:19:50,905 --> 00:19:54,466 - Where the hell have you been? You said 11:30, dude! - I don't wanna talk about it. 382 00:19:54,542 --> 00:19:57,773 That waitress is picking me up any minute! I was ready to shut down the bar! 383 00:19:57,845 --> 00:20:01,058 - What is that kid doin' here? - I'm taking him to the Big Brother-Big Sister thing. 384 00:20:01,082 --> 00:20:04,362 - Get him out of here, Charlie. - I'm getting picked up any minute! Will you relax? 385 00:20:04,418 --> 00:20:07,854 - I told you, I don't want kids in the bar! - Dude, what is up your ass? 386 00:20:07,922 --> 00:20:12,154 - You... You are out! Whoa, dude! This kid reeks of booze! 387 00:20:12,226 --> 00:20:14,888 No, no, no, no, no. Are you drunk? Don't be drunk. 388 00:20:14,962 --> 00:20:16,896 - Yeah. - How could you let this happen? 389 00:20:16,964 --> 00:20:20,210 I was the only one bartending! He must have been takin' sips out of people's beers. 390 00:20:20,234 --> 00:20:22,379 - All right. Brew some coffee. - You can't give him coffee! 391 00:20:22,403 --> 00:20:26,100 - Let go of that! Let go of that! - Get him out of here, Charlie! 392 00:20:26,173 --> 00:20:28,334 Charlie! 393 00:20:29,443 --> 00:20:31,377 Okay, here we go! 394 00:20:31,445 --> 00:20:33,379 Fresh air! Have a seat! Sit down! Fresh air! 395 00:20:33,447 --> 00:20:35,967 - You suck! - You suck, all right? Breathe it in. Fresh air now. 396 00:20:36,017 --> 00:20:38,485 - You suck and you have an ugly face! - You suck! 397 00:20:38,553 --> 00:20:41,784 You have an ugly face, okay? You try and push people's buttons all the time! 398 00:20:41,856 --> 00:20:44,256 And you get in their head, and you drive them crazy! 399 00:20:44,325 --> 00:20:47,556 - Maybe that's why you don't have a dad anymore! - Oh, my God! 400 00:20:47,628 --> 00:20:49,994 - What are you doing? - I'm drunk. 401 00:20:50,064 --> 00:20:52,123 - He's drunk? - He's not drunk. 402 00:20:52,199 --> 00:20:53,666 - I am drunk! - You're not drunk. 403 00:20:53,734 --> 00:20:55,827 - He sounds drunk. - I am drunk! 404 00:20:55,903 --> 00:20:58,633 You're not drunk! Stop saying that! 405 00:20:58,706 --> 00:21:00,731 He's fine. 406 00:21:09,984 --> 00:21:12,976 - Jimmy Doyle! - Yeah? 407 00:21:13,054 --> 00:21:15,716 - Charlie Kelly. - Yeah? 408 00:21:15,790 --> 00:21:18,884 - From high school. - Oh, yeah. 409 00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:21,690 I didn't recognize you without all your acne. 410 00:21:21,762 --> 00:21:23,662 Yeah. 411 00:21:23,731 --> 00:21:27,098 - All right, listen, I need to talk to you about your kid. - Why? 412 00:21:27,168 --> 00:21:30,660 - Uh, let's see. Because your kid has serious emotional problems. - Why? 413 00:21:30,738 --> 00:21:33,283 - I don't know. Maybe because you're not there as a father. - Why? 414 00:21:33,307 --> 00:21:35,434 - You're kidding me? This your little game? - Why? 415 00:21:35,509 --> 00:21:39,001 - This is what you're doin'? This is what you're doin' to me? - Why? 416 00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:41,014 Why?